UrbanWire

Van Helsing (PG)
Opens May 6

Cast: Hugh Jackman, Kate Beckinsale, Richard Roxburgh
Director: Stephen Sommers

Post-Modern Horror

By Kenneth Chiu • UrbanWire
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Van Helsing promises to be a monster (pardon the pun) hit – simply check out the stable of yesteryear’s monsters in the show. From Frankenstein to Dracula to Igor and a whole load of flying vampires and howling werewolves, it’s like Van Helsing just became Monsters Inc, sans the cartoon side.

Van Helsing (Hugh Jackman) is the fabled monster-hunter, conceived in the pages of Bram Stoker’s Dracula. He hunts down enemies like Mr Hyde (Robbie Coltrane) and the unholy trinity of Frankenstein (Shuler Hensley), the Wolfman (Will Kemp) and Count Dracula (Richard Roxburgh). But for those classic monster fans looking for a joyride in spotting references and comparisons to the old school flicks, forget it. Unfortunately, all that’s retained from Stoker’s magnum opus is the name, Van Helsing. Almost everything is lost as Sommers treads precariously close to desecrating the characters.

Van Helsing, decked in leather and a wide-brimmed hat, looks more at home bucking broncos in the West than hunting evil in 1880 Europe. He’s immortal, well, what else do you call someone who has been around for centuries? He suffers from an inexplicable bout of amnesia, leaving him with only memories of himself at war with the Romans in Masada.

No one knows about this man of mystery, not even the multi-religious clandestine organisation he operates for in the Vatican City. However, Count Dracula (Richard Roxburgh) appears to know a great deal about him and is the only 1 who addresses Van Helsing by his 1st name, Gabriel.

Van Helsing is placed in the care of a rather bumbling friar cum techie (Think Q of James Bond fame), Carl (David Wenham), who impresses with his caustic wit. Carl supplies him with a lethal arsenal of monsters-killing weapons. The weapons look wicked, especially the self-loading crossbow that fires arrows at full automatic (somewhat resembles our modern machine gun).

Hugh Jackman depicts a fearlessness, which borders on arrogance. He may not be as brooding as his previous Wolverine character in X-Men (), and his clean and gentlemanly image still sticks out somehow (must be the Kate & Leopold after-effects). Otherwise, he’s very much loved as the gusty hero of the movie. Van Helsing’s partner in monster hunting, the feisty and petulant Anna Valerious (Kate Beckinsale), is gorgeous in her tight corset. She has dealings with the Count and her family is bound by an ancient curse that would damn her entire lineage to hell should they fail to eliminate him. She’s running out of relatives to do the job – only she and her brother remain. Yet, she finds time to fall in love with, you guessed it, Van Helsing. Who can resist a man with bows, arrows and in nice black leather?

Count Dracula’s 3 ravishing vampire brides, Marishka (Josie Maran), Aleera (Elena Anava) and Verona (Silvia Colloca) will sire thousands of vampires for Dracula but in order for that to happen, Dracula needs the help of Frankenstein. Why does Frankenstein need to be involved in the foursome, we shan’t reveal. Beasts and babes aside, Van Helsing is still a steroid-pumped CGI monster tableau and a very crammed one at that, with too many characters to keep up with and its multitude of disjointed developments that baffle and confuse. The CGI is spectacular, but we prefer Carl’s wit anytime. Van Helsing is very much still consumable and box-office friendly, despite being too CGI laden and mind taxing. Leave what you know about classic horror freaks at home in the closet and just have fun.