Rewind

Non 13 - Nov 19 | Non 6 - Nov 12 | Oct 29 - Nov 5 | Oct 15 to Oct 22, 2004 |Oct 8 to Oct 14, 2004 |Sept 26 to Oct 7, 2004 |Sept 19 to Sept 25, 2004 |Sept 10 to Sept 18, 2004 | Sept 3 to Sept 9, 2004 | Aug 27 to Sept 2, 2004 | Aug 20 to Aug 26, 2004 | Aug 13 to Aug 19, 2004| Aug 6 to Aug 12, 2004 | Jul 23 to Jul 28, 2004 | Jul 16 to Jul 22, 2004 | Jul 9 to Jul 15, 2004

Nov 13-19
Amanda’s Take

Take 1
Want an up close encounter with snakes in Singapore? Forget about the Singapore Zoo, you might just have a chance in your own toilet.

According to Yahoo! Singapore News, snakes are usually found in areas of greenery or swamps but they have managed to adapt themselves to the urbanisation of Singapore. Thus, they have changed their natural habitats to reservoirs and even sewage pipes.

Aardwolf Pestkare Singapore, a major pest control company, has claimed that they had 2 reports of snakes emerging from the toilet bowls recently. Although the snakes disappeared before they could be caught, one of their experts, Patrick Chong, confirmed that there had been a similar case years before. At that time, they used a live chicken as bait in the toilet and they finally caught the 2-metre-long python.

Hopefully we can nip the problem in the bud before it can nip our butts.

Take 2
The commercials for the upcoming Child’s Play sequel, Seed of Chucky, involve a Britney Spears look-alike being blown up during their commercials for the movie.

E! Online reveals that is a dig by Focus Pictures at the pop princess who apparently wants nothing to do with Hollywood’s favourite evil doll, Chucky.

Spears’s hit song, “…Baby One More Time” was supposed to be included in Bride of Chucky, but had to be removed after she protested.

Or it could just be the movie makers decided to reprise Austin Powers in Goldmember one more time… [^back to take 1]

Take 3
According to E! Online, actor Gary Busey, 60, refused to pay rent unless his landlord does renovation works at his Malibu home to improve “the ventilation problems… the front door, sliding doors in the living room and in the bedrooms, drapes in the bedroom and ‘electrical facilities’ in the backyard”.

In the agreement reached by both sides, Busey will pay his landlord a total of US$52,000 (S$86,133) in unpaid rent but US$22,000 will only be paid after the completion of the landlord’s renovation projects and the improvements are up to Busey’s expectations.

Busey’s housing agent obviously doesn’t work quite as hard as his talent agent. [^back to take 1]

Take 4
An escaped bank robber surrendered himself at a police station but was told by the police officers to return the following day to be arrested.

According to Reuters, Darrell Lewis made a getaway after his robbery, but decided to surrender after watching footage of his act on the news. He gave himself in at a police station but, to his surprise and ours, was told by the officers to come back the next day.

Undaunted, Lewis managed to get himself arrested by turning himself in the following day at a different police station.

Similar police stations that have the same policy should have big posters that inform criminals about the “surrendering” hours, so that they will not be disappointed. [^back to take 1]

Take 5
Chicago’s Brookfield Zoo’s orangutan has proved that dating, even in the animal world, is based on superficial looks.

According to NBC5, the primate Maggie, 43, was “obese, had dry, brittle hair and bad skin” since 8 years ago. However, after her keepers detected her thyroid problem, she was placed on a diet with exercises for more than a year.

Her slim figure has caught the attention of the apes in their enclosure and she is currently “dating” again.

It probably won’t be long before Maggie becomes a sought-after model for slimming centre ads. Copywriters can then sell the basis for “pure animal attraction”. [^back to take 1] [^top]

Nov 6-12
Nicole’s Take

Take 1
Any American who can prove that they’ve voted at this year’s elections can get a free Seymour DVD, given away by porn star and director, Seymour Butts, also known as Adam Glassner, at the Virgin Megastore at New York’s Times Square.

Ananova.com quotes Mr Butts saying, “We'd like them to vote for John Kerry, but if they voted for George W Bush and come to get a free Seymour DVD, well that's a little telling, isn't it?”

Kerry may be desperate for votes, but is he going to be flattered by this offer that is making his supporters out to be cheap, porn addicts?

Take 2
Serial rapist Iorworth Hoare, who has been sentenced to jail for life, has been trying to convince probation officers that he has learnt his lesson and is now reformed, in a bid to win his freedom and enjoy his £7 million (S$21 460 145 ) lottery win.

According to The Daily Mirror, prison authorities have found letters he wrote from jail to his pen pals that explicitly indicate his unchanged and very perverted mindset.

If even his brother won’t want anything to do with him or the money, as The Telegraph says, maybe there’s good reason not to give him parole. [^back to take 1]

Take 3
In a bid to spread Christianity, a man decided to jump into the lion’s den in Taipei Zoo. The 46-year-old man shouted to 2 of the African lions in the den that “Jesus will save you” before taunting them to bite him. Naturally, 1 of the large male lions promptly bit him before zoo authorities chased them away by water hoses and tranquiliser guns.

Wasn’t this guy taught a) to evangelise to people, instead of animals, and b) not to use God’s name in vain? [^back to take 1]

Take 4
A survey done by Match.com suggests that Bridget Jones’s idea of Mr Right is typical of most women’s. Webindia123.com reports that according to that survey, most women prefer the sensible character Mark Darcy (played by Colin Firth) from the movie Bridget Jones’s Diary to Hugh Grant’s playboy character, Daniel Cleaver.

Anyone who needs a survey, much less a news report, to tell them that women prefer a level-headed, responsible man instead of that dashing but irresponsible two-timing cad, must be living on another planet. Mars, perhaps? [^back to take 1]

Take 5
A man was found to be living in a cave for years in relative comfort, after an employee of the Department of Energy in Los Alamo spotted smoke coming from the cave on Los Alamos National Laboratory land and called the fire department.

On arrival, authorities found 10 marijuana plants growing outside the cave. According to The Sun-Sentinel, the cave-dweller Roy Michael Moore, 56, was found with “21 ounces of dried marijuana” among other drug paraphernalia. He survived on “a wood-burning stove, solar panels connected to car batteries for electricity and a satellite radio”.

With oil prices sky-rocketing, Roy Michael Moore could be the next guru on home-living, ala Martha Stewart. [^back to take 1] [^top]

Oct 29 - Nov 5
Mary-Ann's take

Take One
If you've ever wondered if pop stars today lip-synch while singing "live", pop princess Ashlee Simpson would have cleared all doubt.

According to E! Online, in a super-embarrassing incident during her 2nd live performance of the night on Saturday Night Live (SNL) last weekend, the up-and-coming pop diva's voice was heard singing "Pieces of Me" (which she had sung earlier in the programme), except that Ashlee hadn't yet started singing, and didn't even have a microphone with her. To try and cover up the blooper Ashlee suddenly launched into a strange can-can dance, then left the stage when SNL quickly cut to commercials.

Ashlee's now under fire from very disappointed fans, who are particularly mad that she tried to blame the mistake on her band when she reappeared with Jude Law at the end of the programme.

Ah well Ashlee, if singing doesn't work out, at least you can still go back to being big-sis Jessica's back-up dancer - though she might not be into the Can-Can just yet! [^back to take 1]

Take Two
According to recent opinion polls reported by the BBC, 60% of undecided voters in America are women. And if your presidential campaign needs to give female voters a push, why not bring in a world-famous heartthrob to help them to decide?

Well that's exactly what John Kerry has done. In a report by BBC, Democrats are using Hollywood superstar Leonardo DiCaprio to convince the masses to vote Kerry. And he's not the only star lending his support. DiCaprio's even roping in celebrities like Justin Timberlake and Samuel L. Jackson to join him in MTV's Rock The Vote campaign adverts (for the Internet as well as TV), where he speaks about the environment to convince young Americans to vote. Hey Arnie, do you smell another celebrity politician on the horizon? [^back to take 1]

Take Three
According to Reuters, Helen Zhou, a Chinese woman in Sydney, Australia, is using a A$5,000 (S$6,211) billboard to advertise for a husband. Stated on the billboard are her requirements, which range from "Caucasian", "a good sense of humour" to "solid financial background".

In the article, Ms Zhou also states that what she really wants is a traditional, old-fashioned sort of man - wow, you're really expecting one of those to respond to a billboard ad? [^back to take 1]

Take Four
The Taiwanese parliament is renowned for breaking into vicious fights, with members throwing chairs and shoes at each other from time to time, but now they seem to have found a new weapon with which to get their points across - food.

According to Reuters, Nationalist Party member Chu Fong-chih threw a packet of chicken rice at Democratic Progressive Party member Chen Tsung-yi, who was pushing for an arms budget Chu didn't approve of. In retaliation, Chen threw his own take-out box back at her.

Perhaps the Taiwanese parliament should take its meetings into a kindergarten classroom and let the teachers there mediate, because they sure don't seem to be behaving any better than little kids. [^back to take 1]

Take Five
Ananova.com reports that a Dutch online shop is advertising a rare, very expensive brand of coffee made in Sumatra. The coffee, known as "Kopi Luwak", is made from the droppings of civet cats that are fed ripe coffee beans.

I wonder if they make for an especially SARStisfying drink. [^back to take 1] [^top]

Oct 15 to Oct 22, 2004
Han's Take

Take1
The fact that her labourer husband brings home only about $1,000 a month, did not stop a 40-year-old from having 7 children in 14 years. According to the Shin Min Daily, the woman (identified only as Madam Chen), said her periods were so heavy that she had to change sanitary pads every 10 minutes. She added in Mandarin that her periods were “so bad that I (Madam Chen) couldn’t concentrate on anything and so I decided to get pregnant continuously in hopes of avoiding the painful periods”.

Well, here’s 1 person who’ll welcome menopause.

Take 2
Ananova.com reports that Serbian villagers are blasting Rock music around the clock to prevent wild boars from eating their crops. No pigs have been sighted since the implementation of this unusual method.

They probably figured they were losing sleep either way. [^back to take 1]

Take 3
The Straits Times reports that wealthy will soon be able to live on a private island with just 23 other neighbours when Coral Island is put up for tender. Coral Island is one of 5 man-made (reclaimed) islands off Sentosa. It is linked to the Singapore mainland via a main road. Residents of the island can also opt to get home via yacht as the island also has private berthing spaces.

If the Everitt Road incidents are anything to go by, we may soon see our own reality television series Survivor: Coral Island with neighbours voting each other off the island week after week. [^back to take 1]

Take 4
An Indian politician decided to stop making speeches and switch to the most basic form of getting attention: blowing a whistle, reports the Mid Day newspaper. Nicholas Almeida was fed up that people were not listening to the speeches he made on his campaign trail and was convinced blowing a whistle would work better to grab the voters’ attention.

Almeida better be an upright politician. It would be really ironic if someone had the opportunity to blow the whistle on his misdeeds. [^back to take 1]

Take 5
According to the Associated Press, soccer star David Beckham claims he deliberately got a 2nd yellow card in his recent match against Wales so he could serve the resulting 1-match suspension while recovering from his rib injury. He added that many people thought he has “not got the brains to be that clever” but this deed would prove these critics wrong. His admission could raise the ire of FIFA chairman Sepp Blatte who vowed to enforce the concept of “fair play” in international football.

Telling the world that you did something dishonest is definitely not too clever [^back to take 1] [^top]

Oct 8 to Oct 14, 2004
Caleb Ng's Take

Take 1
According to Reuters, a Romanian man in his late 60s chopped off his own penis in a fit of anger when he confused it for the neck of a chicken which was preventing him from enjoying a good night's sleep. To make matters worse, his dog gobbled it up in no time, ending all hopes of stitching it back.

Ah, the double jeopardy of confusing a **ck for a chicken and not feeding one's dog well enough…

Take 2
Believe or not, sex toys have become the latest scare in the war against terrorism.

Australian authorities evacuated a regional airport and almost brought in the bomb squad when a vibrator was set off in the rubbish bin, according to Reuters.

That's the kind of attention they never warn you about on the packaging. [^back to take 1]

Take 3
A 25-year-old American was finally caught after evading the police when he tried to flee in a stolen car only to realise too late that it was still under repair with its wheels inches above the ground.

He must be used to climbing into very tall cars not to have noticed, now, if only he was a little more "down-to-earth"… [^back to take 1]

Take 4
Officials from the Virgin Islands Park in the United States have expelled goats after they caught the animals chewing on "exotic flowers and common weeds", according to the Associated Press.

The flowers we get, but shouldn't they be thanking the goats for chomping on the weeds? [^back to take 1]

Take 5
A trash collector in the United States recently came across approximately US$22,000 in the rubbish bin while on the job.

Betcha he can't wait to see the look on the faces of everyone who told him this was a job for losers. [^back to take 1] [^top]

Sept 26 to Oct 7, 2004
Kenneth's Take

Take 1
Calling all Girl-Power activists! Come November 1, US Senator Hilary Clinton will be available boxed, sealed and ready to be taken home; her action figure that is.

According to Herobuilders, the makers of the Hilary doll, it comes packaged with navy blue suit and shoes, a light blue blouse along with white underwear, Ananova reported.

Talk about life-like dolls, maybe someone should invest in producing a Monica Lewinsky doll complete with her lingerie and stained dress, made infamous by her liaison with Bill Clinton.

Take 2
Some parents from Bedford had their baby son christened Drew Peacock. According to Ananova, they had only realised how obscene the name sounded after the father, Russell Peacock had run the name through a search engine in search of famous namesakes, only to be queried: Do you mean Droopy **ck?

Russell described the feeling as being caught with a “right hook” and only after did he say the name repeatedly, did he get what he had done.

What’s really worse is that the parents don’t intend to change the name immediately. Even if they obviously have a hearing problem, surely they’ve heard that 2 wrongs don’t make a right? [^back to take 1]

Take 3
With the meteoric rise of oil prices, diesel hybrid vehicles seem the likely messiahs in such times. Doesn’t a car that runs on renewable fuel like soy sound neat? Soy’s easily replenished and sure wouldn’t cost as much as fuel.

That’s what we think. A report in the Reuters depicts that though it is the most efficient fuel system available, ironically, it’s also the most costly.

Diesel hybrid vehicles will cost almost a third more than their diesel guzzling cousins, which are already a 10% more expensive than petrol-driven units.

Guess we’ll just have to tofu it out. [^back to take 1]

Take 4
Perfect 10’s One Hot Minute reports that, Tibetan sex bomb Bai Ling , who stars in the upcoming Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow has attributed her success as an actress to her stint at the mental institute.

“I got out of the mental hospital when I was 17 by telling the doctors that I was an actress and I was just pretending that I wanted to kill myself and that I wasn't really sick. I became a great actress because I had to be to get out of that hospital."

Did we mention she still hears 8 voices in her head and has even given them names?

Who knows? Besides the acting boost, one day her mental condition may hand her a brilliant screenplay for a cast of 8 too. [^back to take 1]

Take 5
New York’s school food service division has taken to offering healthier choices in its lunch line-up. San Francisco has barred snacks and soft drinks from being served in cafeterias, while Texas has prohibited the sale of deep-fried dishes, the Associated Press reported.

So much for being in the land of the free… I guess they meant sugar-free, fat-free and choice-free. [^back to take 1] [^top]

Sept 19 to 25, 2004
Poon Shumin's Take

Take 1
Former child star, Macaulay Culkin of Home Alone fame, was busted for possessing drugs. According to E!Online, Culkin and his friend were pulled over for speeding, and had their vehicle checked by a police officer. Marijuana, among other drugs, was found in his possession.

Speeding and drugs? I'm thinking fame and fortune at a young age is more than enough to mess up your mind.

Take 2
Here's a piece of news from Ananova guaranteed to raise your eyebrows, a couple in Maryland, USA, has been raising a Cabbage Patch doll as their child for the past 19 years. Their "son", named Kevin, has his own playroom, pet dog, toy car, and even his own savings account. Strangely enough, their love for Kevin even surpasses their love for their real daughter, Vicky. [^back to take 1]

Perhaps China should just provide couples with free Cabbage Patch dolls and scrap their one-child policy altogether.

Take 3
According to the USA Today, a man was arrested for pulling his pants down in the St Louis County Courthouse. Although the article didn't explain why, Daniel Everett, 38, wanted to make photocopies of his buttocks to present to his girlfriend as a gag. [^back to take 1]

Butt, of course.

Take 4
In Tokyo, Japan, a 91-year-old woman was caught shoplifting in a clothes store. She has been arrested 11 times in the past 3 years. Despite her track record, she will most likely be left with just a warning because of her age, according to CNews.

Ah, the perks of growing old. [^back to take 1]

Take 5
As reported by Ananova, a judge in Sri Lanka was so livid that a man yawned in his courts that he sentenced him to 1 year in prison.

That guy should never be a lecturer. [^back to take 1] [^top]

Sept 10 to Sept 18, 2004
Archanaa N. Raja's Take

Take 1
4 Brazilian thieves robbed a bus full of 46 Brazilian policemen travelling to a sports competition, reported Reuters.

The unarmed policemen were caught off guard and were forced to stop on the country’s main interstate highway when the bus was travelling from northeastern Paraiba state to the city of Salvador in Bahia.

We call the police when we’re in danger. Who do the police call when they’re the victims? And if 46 are not good enough to take on just 4 men, what hope is there for anyone?

Take 2
According to Ananova, an inflatable doll in the attic of the house has led to a Romanian mother of 2 filing for divorce.

The woman could not acknowledge the idea of another “woman” in the house.

We’ve heard of jealous women, but this rival doesn’t even have a pulse and her husband bought it as a gift for a friend. [^back to take 1]

Take 3
From unreasonable wives to husbands, a Spanish man attempted to sue his wife for domestic abuse since she refused to have sex with on 5 consecutive days, according to Reuters.

The middle-age man claimed that her refusals amounted to “degrading treatment” and domestic abuse.

Equating not having sex with wife-battering under the category of domestic abuse, now that’s degrading. [^back to take 1]

Take 4
The well-known gorilla, Koko that was taught approximately 1,000 words in American Sign Language has been recently complaining to her handlers that her mouth hurts, according to ABC News. Though it was just a toothache, her treatment called for her to be anesthetised.

Upon meeting with her doctors, she called a woman to come closer to her. Impressed by the brilliance of the animal, the woman playfully handed Koko her business card, which Koko promptly gobbled up. Guess she didn’t know how to sign that she needed more fibre in her diet. [^back to take 1]

Take 5
Hollywood’s hottest couple, Justin Timberlake and Cameron Diaz, has decided to go on a trial split, reports The Daily Mirror.

Their plans for a lavish wedding have been on hold. What’s new? Both of them claimed they needed breathing space as being in the limelight all the time is not at all easy.

What should we say, oops, he’s done it again? [^back to take 1] [^top]

Sept 3 to Sept 9, 2004
Jermaine Ang?s take

Take 1

Actress Pamela Anderson is the new face for People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA)?s billboards. She is urging people to boycott Kentucky Fried Chicken (KFC) by raising awareness to the cruel ways of the fast food franchise kills chickens, according to Reuters.

Apparently, live chickens are thrown into boiling water so it will be easier to pluck their feathers off.

"KFC stands for cruelty," Anderson said in a statement. "If KFC executives treated cats or dogs the way they treat chickens, they could go to prison on felony cruelty-to-animals charges.?

We don?t need Pamela Anderson to tell us to boycott KFC; all we need is the bird flu.?

Take 2

Australian?s opposition party has discovered that inmates in a prison in New South Wales are getting a regular supply of ?drugs?. Apparently they have been rearing poisonous Redback spiders, whose venom produces a drug-like state that makes the prisoners high, when injected into their bodies, reported the BBC News

But Brian Kelly, the prison spokesman is sceptical that the spiders were used for narcotics purposes. Instead he claims they are pets kept by the prisoners.

A poisonous spider as a pet? Shouldn?t Kelly worry about the inmates dying from a poisonous bite or worse, turning into Spider-Man. [^back to take 1]

Take 3

Hidekazu Kakoi was fishing 6 miles off Japan?s southern coast when he spotted a man clutching a duffel bag floating in the waters. He rescued the man and brought him to shore. The man was wearing a tank top with a Korean label. His duffel bag was lost in the rescue. Ever since he was rescued on Sep 2, he has refused to speak to anyone, says AP

Local authorities do not believe that he is deaf or dumb. Rumours have been spreading that the man might be a Korean spy. Unfortunately, the fisherman didn?t get the duffel bag, which might have contained answers.

Just because the man was wearing a Korean label shirt at the time of rescue makes him a Korean spy? Maybe the spy academy should have taught them to strip, or at least buy some Japanese clothing before going on a mission. [^back to take 1]

Take 4

Dozen of handwritten notes and jottings of the late Clash singer Joe Strummer were put exhibition, reports BBC News.

This is to raise funds for his charity Strummerville, , which tries to give a hand to young and aspiring singers.

A collection of unseen photographs taken during his pre Clash days while he was in a local band called 101ers is also on display in West London, where he started singing. 

Maybe someone should think of helping our young Singapore Idol wannabes. Then again, would Singaporeans pay to see an exhibition of any local music artiste? [^back to take 1]

Take 5

Nicole Kidman recently flinched at a question asked by a reporter on what kind of music she listens to before she acts. She says from now on she is not going to talk about her acting methods and is going to keep it to herself, according to AFP

"I'm trying to do less of that now. Other films that I'm made I've spoken freely about all sorts of things and I feel like it does somehow demystify the process," says Nicole Kidman. Okay, so maybe she doesn?t want to reveal her secrets of great acting, most of us would probably rather she spill the beans on how to get such fair skin. [^back to take 1] [^top]

Aug 27 to Sept 2, 2004
Melissa-Ann Tan's Take

Take 1
American President George Bush called for a halt on ads that attack the record of his political rival John Kerry in Vietnam reported Reuters.

He felt Kerry should be proud of his record.

We wonder if Bush is proud of his own.

Take 2
According to Ananova 15 Britons were injured at a Norwegian tourist attraction when a 50-strong team of horses were returning from the Briksdal glacier.

Local police are looking into finding out what scared the horses, causing the stampede.

Perhaps the souvenir shop was closing in 5 minutes. [^back to take 1]

Take 3
It might not be anything new to us, but a report in The Herald said thatpersonal time is becoming more and more of a luxury.

Yet people should be able to indulge in their hobbies and spend recreational time with their loved ones as this would result in happier employees with greater productivity.

Author of How to Be Idle , Tom Hodgkinson, claims that work done in the work place can be done in half the time elsewhere. And we thought PM Lee Hsien Loong was already being generous with giving civil servants a 5-day week. [^back to take 1]

Take 4
According to a survey conducted by Ngee Ann Polytechnic's (NP) Business & Accountancy students, 65% of women find local men "chauvinistic and egoistic".

The result, carried on Today, will have men in knots, no doubt.

If they stay silent, they're either agreeing or too superior to even care what women have to say about them. And if they make noise, they must think the world revolves around them, which only proves they are egoistic. [^back to take 1]

Take 5
According to FOXNews, Hollywood stars Matt Damon, Scarlett Johansson and other celebrities are donating their talents to an online anti-President Bush effort.

As many as 10 new anti-Bush ads created by the stars have been aired on MoveOn.org since Aug 24. Despite the talent, some ads may never make it to the television.

You'd have thought some rich Republican, if not someone from Al-Qaeda would only be too happy to pick up the tab. [^back to take 1] [^top]

Aug 20 to Aug 26, 2004
Saw Lidong's Take

Take 1
Bird flu strikes again in Vietnam claiming 3 more lives, reports the BBC.

Just a couple of months back, Vietnamese health officials had declared the country free of the virus.

Someone should have told them not to count their chickens before they hatch.

Take 2
The U.S. military has a policy providing free breast enhancements for female soldiers, according to Yahoo! News.

A group campaigning for natural breasts has staged a mild protest against this policy, in, of all places, Hollywood. [^back to take 1]

I doubt anyone will complain if our army starts offering free penis enlargement services for new recruits.

Take 3
A dog ate its owner's bank notes, according to Reuters. When the animal started puking and she couldn't find her money, she thought that thieves had doped her dog and stolen the money.

It wasn't until later when she brought the poor animal to the vet did she find out what really happened.

Looks like a rich diet doesn't agree with the canine. [^back to take 1]

Take 4
"Fat Darrell" has been named the best sandwich in America by Maxim magazine, reports the AP. The sandwich has chicken fingers, mozzarella sticks and French fries in it.

The idea for the sandwich was conceived in 1997 by Darrell Butler, a Rutgers University sophomore then, when he wanted to eat his 3 favorite foods but didn't have enough money to purchase them. He ended up combining the 3 foods into 1 sandwich order at a fast food outlet.

Somehow I don't think combining my 3 favorite local dishes, chicken rice, roti john, and thosai is going to cut it, much less win an award. [^back to take 1]

Take 5
Because of the rising concerns over the outbreak of bird flu, Singapore has suspended all poultry imports from Malaysia, according to The Straits Times.

"This is in line with the established protocol for close cooperation between the veterinary authorities of the two countries," the Agri-Food & Veterinary Authority (AVA) of Singapore said.

Let's sincerely hope that is the case. We all know about Malaysia and the water "agreement". [^back to take 1] [^top]

Aug 13 to Aug 19, 2004
Jamaluddin Johan's Take

Take 1
Middle Tennessee State 's football team, Blue Raiders is offering its fans a chance to catch OutKast 's Big Boi perform after their game, reports Associated Press .

The free concert is an ? attempt to get people in the stands?, spokesman Doug Williams admits. Apparently the team was only averaging about 14,000 fans a game, short of the 15,000 requirement set by the NCAA for them to remain in Division I.

However, there's a catch. Anyone who wants to catch the concert will have to stay throughout the home game, as entry into the stadium will not be granted once the game ends.

Blue Raiders should watch their backs though. If the concert idea proves to be more successful, they might just be outkasts in their own stadium.

Take 2
Former child star Macaulay Culkin pleaded not guilty to charges of illegally possessing marijuana and prescription medicine, reports Reuters .

Culkin was supposedly pulled over for speeding and improper lane changing. A vehicle search led to the discovery of 17.3 grams of pot and prescription drugs that might have been obtained without a prescription.

Not only can't you trust him Home Alone , even when he's out alone, he gets into a lot of trouble. [^back to take 1]

Take 3
Taiwan fined Nike Inc. almost TWD1 million (S$50,000) for a 90-second appearance on stage by basketball icon Michael Jordan when it should have been a 1-hour show, reports Reuters .

Taiwan 's Fair Trade Commission said the sports brand had misled consumers as the brevity of ?The Show' was ? out of proportion with (Nike's) news releases during sales promotions?.

By buying Brand Jordan products, consumers were promised they could win passes to see Michael Jordan display his basketball skills at a stage show that was to last for at least an hour.

Fans posted angry messages on Internet bulletin boards and a leading consumers' group threatened to boycott all Nike Products.

In response, Nike apologised and offered posters and first-generation Air Jordan shoes as compensation, promising to invite the 700 people who attended to future events.

Maybe Nike should really listen to their own advertising. When you promise to do something, you have to ?Just Do It?. [^back to take 1]

Take 4
President Bush and Senator John Kerry are both using animal metaphors in their presidential advertising wars, according to Associated Press .

Bush used prowling wolves to hint that under Kerry's leadership, the country would be vulnerable to ?waiting' terrorists while Kerry used an eagle versus ostrich analogy in which the ostrich suggested Bush is unwilling to change or plain ignorant.

At least they know it's a jungle out there? [^back to take 1]

Take 5
Irish rock band U2 got back a briefcase containing lyrics meant to be used for their 1981's album October reports Reuters .

The briefcase was stolen almost 23 years ago during a Portland concert and the group had to rewrite the lyrics resulting in one of their weakest albums in their recording history.

Cindy Harris of Washington state, 44, found it in an attic of a rental home, but did not know of its significance until years later. Lead singer Bono was thankful and said that it was ?act of grace?.

Seems strange that despite touring so much U2 forgot to leave an address at the back of the briefcase. [^back to take 1] [^top]

Aug 6 to Aug 12, 2004
Raymond Tham's Take

Take 1
While there will be a large number of personnel taking care of all the Olympian athletes’ safety, top priests from the Church of Greece are prepared to take care of their spiritual health, reported Reuters.
These priests will be available to all Orthodox athletes at any time, and services are planned for every morning and evening during the Olympic Games.
"These priests are multilingual and speak either European or Slavic languages, they have been instructed specially and have on hand printed material in foreign languages for the athletes," church spokesman Father Epifanios Economou was quoted saying.
Looks like the runners only need to be concerned about their “soles” and not their “souls”.

Take 2
Michael Jackson has been voted unsexiest man in the world by readers of Company magazine, reports The Daily Mirror.
The 45-year-old “defeated” other competitors like American Idol judge Simon Cowell and The Darkness’s vocalist Justin Hawkins to gain the “honour”.
As unflattering as the honour is, Michael is probably hoping to continue his “winning” streak, especially with his courtcase coming up. [^back to take 1]

Take 3
Cops organising a drug raid found £18,000 (S$56,590) worth of crack, cocaine and heroin hidden in the house of a teenage drug peddler who was wearing a shirt that read: “I am a dealer”, reported The Sun.
Mohd Rahman was sentenced to 30 months in jail after police raided his home in Keighley, West Yorks, England. They had received a tip-off.
One cop said, “The team that carried out the raid could not believe it when they saw what he was wearing. Talk about stupidity!
"He had thousands of pounds worth of drugs in his bedroom and was happily wearing a T-shirt telling the whole world he was a dealer.
"I suppose he thought it was a joke."
Maybe he could buy a shirt that reads: “I am a complete idiot.” [^back to take 1]

Take 4
Scientists from the Voronezh State Technological Academy in Russia, has found a way to turn blood into biscuits, yoghurts and drinks, reports The Daily Telegraph.
The scientists are aiming for mass production to begin in 6 months and claiming that their blood-based food will taste the same as the original.
Dr Ludmila Antipova, the head of the academy's Department of Meat and Meat Products, said, “When we were first working on the project we had 16 students involved, and the main problem was that they would keep eating the experiments.
“People should not be apprehensive. When you eat meat, there is blood in that.”
Guess Dracula no longer has to bite people to get them bloodthirsty. [^back to take 1]

Take 5
Young men fulfilling their National Service obligations in Finland have been excused from completing their full 6 months as they were hooked to the Internet, reports Reuters.
Medical reports show that the young men missed their computer so much that they weren’t able to cope with their time in the army.
"For people who play [Internet] games all night and don't have any friends, don't have any hobbies, to come into the army is a very big shock," said Commander-Captain Jyrki Kivela.
Don’t be surprised if Finland suddenly becomes the first choice for immigration for thousands of Singaporean males. [^back to take 1] [^top]

Jul 30 to Aug 5, 2004
Yusuf Hamid's Take

Take1
A world record has apparently been set in the Australian city of Alice Springs after 127 Harley Davidsons rode through a restaurant from its back door and out its front door, CNN.com reported.

Bojangles restaurant owner, Avril Vaughan, was quoted saying the Harleys made it through without breaking a single thing. Vaughan has been trying to get this remarkable feat recognised in the Guinness World Records, which shouldn’t be difficult since it’s unlikely a previous record existed.
Whether or not it becomes a world record, it’s clear that the phrase ‘bull in a china shop’ needs some updating.

Take2
Mike Tyson’s attempt to work his way out of US$38 million (S$65.2 million) of debt has taken a literal blow when he was knocked out by British boxer Danny Williams, who apparently cries in his dressing room before fights, Yahoo! News reports.

Fighting in the same arena where Muhammad Ali first appeared 44 years ago, Tyson quite possibly jeopardised his own career when he was left bloodied and bruised by Williams. This was to be the 1st of 6 fights that was supposed to help Tyson settle his debt.

18 years on in his career, it looks like Iron Mike has rusted and been busted. [^back to take 1]

Take3
William Hung of talent show American Idol ‘reject’ fame has made his Asian debut at a casino in Macau, Straits Times Interactive reports.

Flanked by dancers in red tube tops, Hung sang his hit- a rendition of Ricky Martin’s “She Bangs” – at the Kam Pek casino in Macau. Hung apparently takes mockery in his stride, quoted in the South China Morning Post saying he doesn’t mind “having some people ridicule me”.

If the acting in his music videos is anything to go by, Hung may need to keep this positive attitude when he goes to China next week to act in his first movie with famous Hong Kong comedienne Nancy Sit. [^back to take 1]

Take4
Bad things are happening in the small African nation of Malawi, where a Catholic priest and nun were caught having sex in a car, the BBC reports.

The pair received a suspended 6-month sentence with hard labour, in a full and giggling courtroom. Police spokesman Kelvin Maigwa related that “the public alerted airport police after noticing the car shaking in a funny way”.

Perhaps they could consider themselves lucky it was the police and not a bolt of lightning from the sky that found them out. [^back to take 1]

Take5
A motorist in Germany paid the price for being obedient and was beaten up by a truck driver for driving “too slowly” in a built up area with a speed limit of 30km/h, Reuters reported.

The truck driver told police in the western town of Bochum that he “felt provoked” by the motorist as he was actually “doing 30kph in a 30kph area”, and in being slowed down was annoyed to the point of road rage.

Obey the law and get beaten up, disobey and face punishment by the authorities. Either way, you lose. [^back to take 1] [^top]

Jul 23 to Jul 29, 2004
Mid's Take

Take 1
A 4-mile road in Beauston, Texas, has been a headache for the local officials for the past 10 years, reports Reuters. The root of the problem lies, of all things, in its name. The road is called “Jap Road”.

The road got its name from Yoshio Mayumi, who brought the culture of rice farming to Southeast Texas. It has been there for about 100 years but it was only a decade ago when residents in the area requested for a name change.

They pointed out that “Jap” is a racist term, implying that the people of Southeast Texas are mostly racist as well.

On the other hand, there is also a group of residents believe that “Jap Road” is a part of their heritage worth preserving and defending.

After 10 long years of “fighting”, the road name was changed to Mayumi Road.

Another victory for the politically correct camp.

Take 2
Don’t be surprised, or should I say terrified, if one day you hear voices coming from a tombstone. American inventor, Robert Barrows, has created a tombstone with a built in video, reports CNN.com.

Those who are gone will be able to leave video messages on their tombstones. A computer with a microchip memory will be used to store and play those messages. Barrows is also trying to get a patent application for his invention.

Can’t you already imagine it? The sequel to Dead Man Walking… [^back to take 1]

Take 3
Do the ends justify the means? Swedish organisation, A Non Smoking Generation, certainly think so.

For their latest anti-smoking campaign, the organisation is using lies as the main strategy to get smokers to abandon their habits, reports Yahoo!News.

In some posters, they claimed that mouse droppings were used to make cigarette filters and smoking will affect penis growth. Second-hand smokers are also not spared. They stated that second-hand smoke is enough to kill birds.

The official spokesperson was quoted as saying that cigarette advertisers also use lying to advertise. Hasn’t she heard that two wrongs don’t make a right? [^back to take 1]

Take 4
If you believe that size matters, you might want to know that Reuters reported that the Dutch are the tallest people on earth. GfK, a marketing research organisation, has collected data that shows the Dutch needing much bigger clothing sizes. The data was collected over 7 years. [^back to take 1]

A Pan American Health Organization professor, Robert Fogel, has also conducted recent studies which yielded the same results. The Dutch are about 10 cm taller than their average European and American counterparts. Although they are 15 cm taller than they were 40 years ago, they are still growing in height.

Fogel, with the help of other researchers, believes that this is mainly due to the increasing improvements in hygiene, health care and affluence. A diet that is high on diary products also contributes to the growth.

Wonder why, despite having all these in Singapore, we growing horizontally instead of vertically? [^back to take 1]

Take 5
Hands up those of you who hate the buzzing of mosquitoes. Needless to say, the itch after their bites, is another thing we hate. So it was no surprise that when a mosquito lands on a 57-year-old woman, she smacked it.

Unfortunately, the smack led to her death. She died of fungal infection, called Brachiola algerae, caused by the mosquito. BBC News reported that doctors in the US are puzzled as this type of infection only occurs in insects, like mosquitoes.

As it is not found in the saliva of mosquitoes, doctors believed that the deceased had accidentally smacked part of the mosquito into her muscle. This in turn, caused the infection to occur.

We’ve heard of getting the death sentence for taking a life, but this has got to take the cake. [^back to take 1] [^top]

Jul 16 to Jul 22, 2004
Michelle Tan’s Take [1][2][3][4][5]

Take 1
A massive blackout hit the Greece capital of Athens, triggering concerns about the possibility of a repeat at next month’s Olympic games, reported the Associated Press.

As temperatures soared to a high of 40 degrees Celsius, the worst power failure in more than a decade affected homes, traffic signals and electric trolleys all over the capital, and areas as far as islands located in the Aegean and Ionian seas. According to an anonymous government official, the “domino-effect” power failure was traced to “an imbalanced flow of electricity that shut down 4 power-generating stations”.

Looks like Singapore Power can breathe a sigh of relief for now - Greece's Public Power Corp needs more PR work than it does.

Take 2
While on holiday in Melbourne, Australia, British tourist Fraser Claughton purchased a beat-up suitcase from a local flea market, not realising that it was full of rare Beatles memorabilia.

Yahoo! News reported that the collection, which contained items like photos, concert programmes and unreleased recordings, was believed to be the long lost ‘Mal Evans archive’. Mal Evans, formerly the band’s sound recordist and groupie, was killed by Los Angeles police in 1976 for wielding a fake gun.

This precious find certainly has gone on ‘The Long and Winding Road’ to get to the other end of the world. [^back to take 1]

Take 3
The Singapore Armed Forces detonated a Japanese aerial bomb that was found at a construction site, according to a report from Reuters.

A construction worker at a site near the Central Business District (CBD) area found the bomb that dates back to World War II. The bomb was subsequently set off by SAF personnel.

The report also stated that intact WWII bombs and artillery rounds would “occasionally turn up at construction sites and beaches”.

In the wake of the Nicoll Highway tragedy, and this revelation, the worker’s hardhat suddenly seems woefully inadequate.[^back to take 1]

Take 4
According to the Associated Press, US President George W. Bush has defended his decision to invade Iraq, saying that invading Iraq has “made America safer”.

In his speech at Oak Ridge National Laboratory in Tennessee, President Bush said that though the US did not uncover “stockpiles of weapons of mass destruction”, he insisted that America was right to go into Iraq as they had stopped a “declared enemy of America who had the capability of producing weapons of mass murder and could have passed that capability to terrorists bent on acquiring them”.

Coulda, woulda… maybe he shoulda relied on something less flimsy than his own thought processes. [^back to take 1]

Take 5
Now this is something that only happens once in a blue moon.

According to The Straits Times, 1,800 of the coveted National Day Parade (NDP) tickets have gone uncollected after the July 11 deadline. The apparent reason for this rare phenomenon is that applicants gave the organisers an invalid phone number, resulting in them being uncontactable about their successful ballot.

There are at least a few possible explanations for this:
1. There are 1,800 dyslexic Singaporeans who were successful at the ballot.
2. 1,800 of them took AirAsia/Valuair trips out of the country at the time of the call because it was off-peak season.
3. 1,800 of them changed their handphones and numbers from the time they first registered for the ballot.
4. 1,800 of them were kiasu (afraid to lose out) and tried to secure multiple chances by registering with as many numbers as they could and got some of them wrong. [^back to take 1] [^top]

Jul 9 to Jul 15, 2004
Geoff Liang's Take [1] [2] [3] [4] [5]

Take 1
A caf? has opened in Nanjing, eastern China specifically for patrons to bawl their eyes out according to The Straits Times. The owner of Good Mood Cry Caf? Mr Luo Jun hatched his idea when he noticed a woman on the verge of crying at a teahouse. As he went up to comfort the lady, she turned away and left.

Other than playing sad songs in the background and providing chilli and onions to induce crying, the caf? also has unbreakable toys for their clients to vent their frustrations.

After the crying session, patrons are offered lozenges and paper napkins. The charge for these services is 50 yuan (S$10) per hour.

$10 an hour for lozenges, paper napkins and to throw toys about? Mr Luo must be laughing all the way to the bank.

Take 2
Weird punishments for school children have achieved an all-new level.

A schoolteacher in Zimbabwe has been accused of imposing punishments on students by giving them a choice of either receiving strokes of the cane or suckling her breasts.

A boy reported the incident to his parents after he was punished for being noisy. Having to choose between 100 strokes of the cane and suckling of the teacher?s breasts, the boy chose the latter, as did 14 other students reported The Herald.

The teacher has since been suspended. She allegedly admitted to the accusations but no reasons were given.

Implement the system here and we may finally achieve full attendance. [^back to take 1]

Take 3
Macy Gray went stark naked during her performance at the Coronet in Elephant and Castle for a good cause reported Ananova.

Her 2-hour gig was to raise money for a charity started by Sir Elton John to combat AIDS in Africa.

She was fully clothed till prior to the end of the performance where she exited the stage, only to return wearing nothing but a pair of designer shoes by Jimmy Choo.

Macy shielded her naked body from the crowd by resting on a chair a la well renowned call-girl Christine Keeler while delivering her hit, ?I Try?.

Maybe she should take a leaf from Star Wars? Yoda: ??Do, or do not [perform truly nude]. There is no try.?? [^back to take 1]

Take 4
36 participants are competing in the Fujitsu Cold Room Challenge for a chance to win the grand prize - $20,000 worth of Fujitsu products, including a 50-inch plasma screen.

The participants have to stand in a cold room of 16 degrees Celsius for 72 hours. They are allowed 15 minutes rest every 6 hours to eat and use the loo, said Channel News Asia.

I guess at the end of it we?ll know who has the thickest skin? [^back to take 1]

Take 5
4-year-old Matthew Harrison is the youngest member of Mensa, an elite organisation for geniuses according to Mirror.co.uk. He is among 30 whizzes in the country who are younger than 10 in Mensa.

He was already learning Spanish from TV and had 70 words in his vocabulary when he was just 1 year old. Matthew?s IQ is 130 for his age, which is equivalent to 148 of an adult?s.

Both his parents, who never went to college, aren?t exceptionally smart. Chris, his father mentions that Matthew was always asking tough questions and had a good language sense.

Chris continues to say that Matthew, although showing extraordinary capabilities by speaking very early, is still a normal kid; liking ?comics and stuff other kids like?.

Maybe so, but even if you cut Matthew?s IQ by half, he'll still be smarter than Newlyweds star Jessica Simpson. [^back to take 1] [^top]